Day 18: Forgiveness

Today's topic: What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

Scott and I had an interesting conversation about this topic.  Scott is one of the most forgiving people I know.  He really and truly holds no grudges.  I don't think he's ever really gotten worked up over any drama, which drives his over energetic wife crazy! 

When I started making my list of things I've had to forgive, it got me thinking.  If I spend time telling the blogosphere about all of the times I've shown forgiveness, have I really found forgiveness?

I've talked with my mom a lot lately too, about forgiveness.  Not because I have anything I'm really working to forgive, but because I find the topic of forgiveness really interesting.  I think forgiveness is best for the soul, but I kind of think there are some things that you can't truly forgive.  I think we can find acceptance, and happiness but, if the opportunity arises and we've been drastically wronged, can we truly say we have found forgiveness and those old feelings don't have power over our thoughts any more?  I'm not saying we act on those feelings or that those feelings even interfere with the relationships we've formed since the forgiving, but do the feelings ever really go away?

If I type my list of things I feel I've forgiven in my life I feel like I'm dragging up situations that I've accepted and moved past.  I've forgiven. But does forgiving really mean forgetting?  Can we really erase those things completely from who we are?  And do we want to?  I know some of the reasons why I am the way I am and feel the way I do is because of the things I've had to forgive.  It's made me a better friend and a better wife.  So do I really want those feelings to go away when they remind me to stay true to who I am?

Phew!  Heavy stuff for a Tuesday night.  These blog topics are getting a little intense.  Here's hoping tomorrow's topic is something like : FAVORITE TV SHOW.

Don't even get me started (as I put the blog away to get lost in terrible reality TV).