I was on the phone with a friend of mine recently and she told me the funniest story! It has nothing to do with the pregnancy or with the Ward-Wards, but it's something I want to have written down when I need a good laugh!
My friend's nephew, who is 11, was at school when he had "the talk" about changing bodies. That evening he came home and was walking around the house just saying the word s * x over and over and over again. His mom stopped him and asked if he knew what that meant, and he said no, so she decided it was time to have "the talk" at home.
She got out a book and was going through the pictures of the changing bodies and the boy showed little interest until they got to the inter* course page. At that point he got a disgusted look on his face and said 'THAT'S DISGUSTING!'
His mom's response was "No honey, when it's with a girl you love it can actually be quite wonderful."
Her son's response?
"DO I HAVE TO DO IT WITH YOU???"
At that point the mom gave up the talk and turned the matter over to her husband saying "I tried to have 'The Talk" and ended up teaching about incest. You have a go at it"
HAH!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Likes and Dislikes
Being pregnant teaches you many things about your unborn baby. For instance, I have a very in depth knowledge of what my baby likes, and dislikes. He/She has no problem telling me when he/she is upset, and usually feels it is appropriate to induce some sort of unpleasantness on its unsuspecting mother! Below, is a list i have accumulated thus far.
Likes:
Sleeping in
Watching television
Waffles
Chocolate ice cream
Nitrate Free hot dogs (thanks to my sister-in-law Anne and Karen for finding an excellent supply!)
Grapes
Apples
Swimming laps
chocolate cake
fruit snacks
m & m's
SONIC SLUSHIES!
Dislikes:
Grad school projects
Laundry
Cleaning the house
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Milk (white and chocolate...which is sadly depressing because I LOVE milk)
Mexican food (also a severe disappointment)
Heat
Ginger
house hunting
nachos
baseball :)
Likes:
Sleeping in
Watching television
Waffles
Chocolate ice cream
Nitrate Free hot dogs (thanks to my sister-in-law Anne and Karen for finding an excellent supply!)
Grapes
Apples
Swimming laps
chocolate cake
fruit snacks
m & m's
SONIC SLUSHIES!
Dislikes:
Grad school projects
Laundry
Cleaning the house
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Milk (white and chocolate...which is sadly depressing because I LOVE milk)
Mexican food (also a severe disappointment)
Heat
Ginger
house hunting
nachos
baseball :)
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Well...It's been a little while, but that is only because I didn't think I could post an entry without letting our big news slip!
WE'RE HAVING A BABY!
We've been holding our breath until our doctor's appointment this morning, to hear the heartbeat. Once we heard that 160 beats-per-min. sound reality hit, and we realized that in 7 months there will be one more Ward-Ward in this world! PRETTY SCARY!
It's been the fastest long three months of our marriage so far. It all started when we heard from our landlord that he was selling our condo, and we were going to have to move. As we were looking for new places to rent, or POSSIBLY rent, we got that faint pink like that indicates a baby is on the way. Although the line was so faint you had to squint and turn your head sideways to see it, in the words of my dad..."You can't be a little pregnant". 14 pregnancy tests and 2 weeks later we new for a fact, but needed to wait to make the official internet announcement until we knew we were growing a human, and I wasn't growing a water melon instead :)
Everything started off with a bang...no troubles, and then, at 8 weeks, the nausea set in. Scott has been so helpful, documenting all the milestones along the way, and below, you can see documented proof of morning sickness (although it
should really be called all day sickness. The morning part is a LIE!).
Tober has been very helpful the whole time. Always right by my side, wanting to be in the middle of all the fun...
Scott has busied himself by reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting", a book I have threatened to throw in the trash MULTIPLE times. I'm sure it is a useful guide for many pregnant women, and Scott enjoys reading all about what is going to happen in the following days, weeks, and months, but I find reading about burping, barfing, and bellybuttons is disturbing, and tend to stick to watching Sixteen and Pregnant on MTV. If those girls can handle it, I know I'll be okay. And there's nothing like referring to MTV when deciding on what's "normal". I'll sign off this post with our eleven week picture. We take a picture each week, late at night, when everything is swollen and tired, but it sure is hard to deny where that baby is!
Now that the word is out, you can expect many more updates :)
It's not easy growing a human...but in the words of the last comic standing, "It's easier than building a shed!"
WE'RE HAVING A BABY!
We've been holding our breath until our doctor's appointment this morning, to hear the heartbeat. Once we heard that 160 beats-per-min. sound reality hit, and we realized that in 7 months there will be one more Ward-Ward in this world! PRETTY SCARY!
It's been the fastest long three months of our marriage so far. It all started when we heard from our landlord that he was selling our condo, and we were going to have to move. As we were looking for new places to rent, or POSSIBLY rent, we got that faint pink like that indicates a baby is on the way. Although the line was so faint you had to squint and turn your head sideways to see it, in the words of my dad..."You can't be a little pregnant". 14 pregnancy tests and 2 weeks later we new for a fact, but needed to wait to make the official internet announcement until we knew we were growing a human, and I wasn't growing a water melon instead :)
Everything started off with a bang...no troubles, and then, at 8 weeks, the nausea set in. Scott has been so helpful, documenting all the milestones along the way, and below, you can see documented proof of morning sickness (although it
should really be called all day sickness. The morning part is a LIE!).Tober has been very helpful the whole time. Always right by my side, wanting to be in the middle of all the fun...
Scott has busied himself by reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting", a book I have threatened to throw in the trash MULTIPLE times. I'm sure it is a useful guide for many pregnant women, and Scott enjoys reading all about what is going to happen in the following days, weeks, and months, but I find reading about burping, barfing, and bellybuttons is disturbing, and tend to stick to watching Sixteen and Pregnant on MTV. If those girls can handle it, I know I'll be okay. And there's nothing like referring to MTV when deciding on what's "normal". I'll sign off this post with our eleven week picture. We take a picture each week, late at night, when everything is swollen and tired, but it sure is hard to deny where that baby is!
Now that the word is out, you can expect many more updates :)
It's not easy growing a human...but in the words of the last comic standing, "It's easier than building a shed!"
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Unaware
It's the last week of school you know, and I have a student that is...how shall I say...unaware of most goings-on in the classroom. Just today, on our 30 millionth trip to the computer lab, where each time they squirt their hands with sanitizer, he asked...
"Mrs. Ward? Do I need hand sanitizer?"
"Yes" I say
"Where is it?" He asks, as he is leaning against it's dispenser...where it has been the entire year...
And yesterday, the icing on the cake.
8:45
*Random assortment of students* "MRS. WARD! Our butterflies have hatched!!!"
Due to my compulsive nature to not allow my students to climb all over themselves in the classroom, creating one gigantic mass of 2nd graders in the middle of the floor, I assured them I would bring the butterflies to each of their desks, ONE at a time.
So I do this. I take the butterfly box and put it on EACH students desk, and ask them what they notice and we get all excited to see our butterflies out of their chrysalis homes..
9:45 (an hour later)
My dear little unaware student...
"MRS. WARD! I was just by the bookshelf, and the BUTTERFLIES have HATCHED!"
What more was there for me to say but..
"You bet!" but I wanted to add...
"Try and keep it a secret until someone else notices...."
:) Only 3 days until summer!
"Mrs. Ward? Do I need hand sanitizer?"
"Yes" I say
"Where is it?" He asks, as he is leaning against it's dispenser...where it has been the entire year...
And yesterday, the icing on the cake.
8:45
*Random assortment of students* "MRS. WARD! Our butterflies have hatched!!!"
Due to my compulsive nature to not allow my students to climb all over themselves in the classroom, creating one gigantic mass of 2nd graders in the middle of the floor, I assured them I would bring the butterflies to each of their desks, ONE at a time.
So I do this. I take the butterfly box and put it on EACH students desk, and ask them what they notice and we get all excited to see our butterflies out of their chrysalis homes..
9:45 (an hour later)
My dear little unaware student...
"MRS. WARD! I was just by the bookshelf, and the BUTTERFLIES have HATCHED!"
What more was there for me to say but..
"You bet!" but I wanted to add...
"Try and keep it a secret until someone else notices...."
:) Only 3 days until summer!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Kindergarten
Two cute stories from kindergarten recess:
A co-worker told me this first story yesterday, and I think it's hysterical!
A kindergarten girl comes running up to the recess teacher. She says...
"Mrs. L, that boy over there said a cuss word!"
Mrsl L: "What word did he say?"
Kinder: "You know...the K word...?"
Mrs. L. "The K word?"
Kinder: Yes...He said the word "shi*"
As she says this a kinder boy comes running up saying
"She's lying! She's lying! I didn't say a bad word! I said the word Shik!"
-------------------------
The second story is first hand experience :) We share our last recess with one kindergarten class. A group of 3 second grade boys and one kinder boy were playing basketball. The following ensued...
Kinder: Mrs. Ward! That boy stole the ball from me!
Me: Well, stealing is aloud in basketball.
Kinder: No! No it's not!
Me: Yes, it is allowed as long as no one is fouled.
Kinder: Stealing isn't aloud in kindergarten basketball.
Me: Well, right now you're playing with second graders, so that means you need to play with second grade rules.
Kinder: How is THAT going to learn me anything?
:)
A co-worker told me this first story yesterday, and I think it's hysterical!
A kindergarten girl comes running up to the recess teacher. She says...
"Mrs. L, that boy over there said a cuss word!"
Mrsl L: "What word did he say?"
Kinder: "You know...the K word...?"
Mrs. L. "The K word?"
Kinder: Yes...He said the word "shi*"
As she says this a kinder boy comes running up saying
"She's lying! She's lying! I didn't say a bad word! I said the word Shik!"
-------------------------
The second story is first hand experience :) We share our last recess with one kindergarten class. A group of 3 second grade boys and one kinder boy were playing basketball. The following ensued...
Kinder: Mrs. Ward! That boy stole the ball from me!
Me: Well, stealing is aloud in basketball.
Kinder: No! No it's not!
Me: Yes, it is allowed as long as no one is fouled.
Kinder: Stealing isn't aloud in kindergarten basketball.
Me: Well, right now you're playing with second graders, so that means you need to play with second grade rules.
Kinder: How is THAT going to learn me anything?
:)
Monday, August 10, 2009
I won a shovel
So! Today was our first day back to school after summer vacation (more like grad-school vacation) and our first task was to attend a district meeting. Normally, schools cram in-service meetings down our throats the first two days back, but this year they have given us the gift of time in our classrooms, and it's GLORIOUS!
We had our district meeting at the new middle school, which does not have parking to accommodate 600 district staff members, so at 7:30 this morning I boarded a school bus and rode old school style to the middle school for the meeting.
Once we arrived, we were given a raffle ticket for a drawing. It was only after we were seated that we found out the prize given away was a SHOVEL used to break the ground for the new elementary school...a SHOVEL. There are many things in life that I need, and I can assure you, right now, I have very LITTLE need for a shovel. A big, honkin' shovel. I do, however, have a friend who just bought a house who was salivating over the shovel, seeing as how no one wants to spend their hard earned cash on something like a shovel.
As we find out the door prize is one of 8 shovels, I start to be my usual self, and make fun of the door prize, and my friend. We're joking around back and forth and over hear that attached to the shovel is a gift certificate for dinner. NOW my interest is peaked...I could ALWAYS use a gift certificate for dinner...so as their calling out names, my friend turns and says "you know, if you win that shovel I'm going to smack you with it..." and who should be called for the last shovel???? YOURS TRULY! But the story does not end there my friends.
Karma does not play around. We had to wait until the end of the meetings to receive our prizes, seeing as how they did not want 8 shovels in a crowd of 600 people. So at the end of the meeting, I decide, on my way to pick up the shovel AND gift certificate, to introduce myself to one of our school board members who has a son in my class. After we chit chat for a number of seconds, I arrive at the table, to claim the LAST shovel available, only to watch someone UNTIE my gift certificate and walk off...leaving me...THAT'S RIGHT....JUST A SHOVEL!
So in the end, due to what I’m SURE is a misunderstanding (and karma's way of telling me to be kind to shovels...), I'm left with no free dinner, and one very heavy shovel. It made for one heck of a "back to school" story though....
We had our district meeting at the new middle school, which does not have parking to accommodate 600 district staff members, so at 7:30 this morning I boarded a school bus and rode old school style to the middle school for the meeting.
Once we arrived, we were given a raffle ticket for a drawing. It was only after we were seated that we found out the prize given away was a SHOVEL used to break the ground for the new elementary school...a SHOVEL. There are many things in life that I need, and I can assure you, right now, I have very LITTLE need for a shovel. A big, honkin' shovel. I do, however, have a friend who just bought a house who was salivating over the shovel, seeing as how no one wants to spend their hard earned cash on something like a shovel.
As we find out the door prize is one of 8 shovels, I start to be my usual self, and make fun of the door prize, and my friend. We're joking around back and forth and over hear that attached to the shovel is a gift certificate for dinner. NOW my interest is peaked...I could ALWAYS use a gift certificate for dinner...so as their calling out names, my friend turns and says "you know, if you win that shovel I'm going to smack you with it..." and who should be called for the last shovel???? YOURS TRULY! But the story does not end there my friends.
Karma does not play around. We had to wait until the end of the meetings to receive our prizes, seeing as how they did not want 8 shovels in a crowd of 600 people. So at the end of the meeting, I decide, on my way to pick up the shovel AND gift certificate, to introduce myself to one of our school board members who has a son in my class. After we chit chat for a number of seconds, I arrive at the table, to claim the LAST shovel available, only to watch someone UNTIE my gift certificate and walk off...leaving me...THAT'S RIGHT....JUST A SHOVEL!
So in the end, due to what I’m SURE is a misunderstanding (and karma's way of telling me to be kind to shovels...), I'm left with no free dinner, and one very heavy shovel. It made for one heck of a "back to school" story though....
Monday, May 25, 2009
Bolder Boulder
Scott and I had a busy day today running our first 10 K race in Boulder, Colorado, only 45 min. from our current home.
We met my mom, Bob and Luke and carpooled to the starting line, where before the race we frequented the porta-potties (GROSS) and barely made it in line with our starting group, and when I say barely, I mean BARELY. No stretching for this race. It was get in line and GO!!!
The race was a lot of fun. It's 6 miles of music, and cheering, belly dancing, free beer, and slip-and-slides (if you're willing). You end the race by running into the stadium at the University of Colorado. When you run into the stadium there is a jumbo-tron and YOURS TRULY was plastered on it for an entire 5 seconds at LEAST! (FAAAAAAAAMOUSE!!!!!)
There are 50,000 runners/walkers that enter the race, and you would think that would be crazy, but they have it down to an art, and it was FANTASTIC.
Scott and I are both now limping around the house in the aftermath though...
Tomorrow's my last teacher work day, and then it's OFFICIALLY SUMMER VACATION! We leave for Hawaii in one week, and after that....GRAD SCHOOL!
I'm taking 9 hours this summer, and have everything ready to go. I've got my books ordered, my schedule set, and hopefully am on my way to becoming masters educated (and better paid)!
We shall see what other adventures our summertime holds, but for now, I'm happy relaxing on my couch, feeling the ice cream I just ate was well deserved, and excited by the fact that my husband lost a bet and now has to cook dinner/do the dishes AND iron his pants ALL week long!
Life is good :)
We met my mom, Bob and Luke and carpooled to the starting line, where before the race we frequented the porta-potties (GROSS) and barely made it in line with our starting group, and when I say barely, I mean BARELY. No stretching for this race. It was get in line and GO!!!
The race was a lot of fun. It's 6 miles of music, and cheering, belly dancing, free beer, and slip-and-slides (if you're willing). You end the race by running into the stadium at the University of Colorado. When you run into the stadium there is a jumbo-tron and YOURS TRULY was plastered on it for an entire 5 seconds at LEAST! (FAAAAAAAAMOUSE!!!!!)
There are 50,000 runners/walkers that enter the race, and you would think that would be crazy, but they have it down to an art, and it was FANTASTIC.
Scott and I are both now limping around the house in the aftermath though...
Tomorrow's my last teacher work day, and then it's OFFICIALLY SUMMER VACATION! We leave for Hawaii in one week, and after that....GRAD SCHOOL!
I'm taking 9 hours this summer, and have everything ready to go. I've got my books ordered, my schedule set, and hopefully am on my way to becoming masters educated (and better paid)!
We shall see what other adventures our summertime holds, but for now, I'm happy relaxing on my couch, feeling the ice cream I just ate was well deserved, and excited by the fact that my husband lost a bet and now has to cook dinner/do the dishes AND iron his pants ALL week long!
Life is good :)
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